Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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