let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize