No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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