i barfeds in our rink
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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