Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize