Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
