OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
