Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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