p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
