I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
