god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
