How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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