Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize