nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
