omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
