Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
