Buhtt sex?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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