Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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