Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
