I think I died a long time ago.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
