This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
