what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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