they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
