He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
