My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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