I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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