Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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