true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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