I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
