I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
