We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
