scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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