I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
