if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Drake has all the answers
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize