think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You pole danced in your parka.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize