Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
MIDGETS
????
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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