the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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