oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
