Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
