Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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