Me too!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
