but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize