Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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