is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
