Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
