took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
