You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
