I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
