I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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