DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
