He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
