My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
