id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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