Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
