Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this boner is exhausting
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
