I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This toilet bowl is my home.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
