Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hell yes lets make some ravioli
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize