you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize