Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
