"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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