guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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