Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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