I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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