He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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