so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
