His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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