and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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