Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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