You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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