You just made me feel so damn special
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
