omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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