what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
