how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
