Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

did it hurt when the cum got in your eye

(469): View more from Texas

not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Are you trying to threaten my boobs?

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife

(440): View more from Ohio

My tits sealed my fate

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(315): View more from New York

Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...

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(618): View more from Illinois

I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.

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