there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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