Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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