All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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