Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
