Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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