I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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