The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
