Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
