I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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