don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The ass gains better be worth it
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