Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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