can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
